The worst part of every December is when Emma Thompson unpacks the Joni-Mitchell-CD.
This Vote Is Legally Binding
In response to all those articles about talking to women with headphones…
Someone always says it, whenever it comes up:
“I guess I’m just not allowed to talk to anyone any more!”
Well.
Yes.
It is my duty to inform you that we took a vote
all us women
and determined that you are not allowed to talk to anyone
ever again.
This vote is legally binding.
Yes, of course, all women know each other,
the way you always suspected.
(Incidentally, so do Canadians. I’m just throwing that out there.)
We went into the women’s room at the Applebee’s at the corner of 54
and all the others streamed in through the doors
into that endless liminal space,
a chain of humans stretching backward
heavy skulled Neanderthal women laughing with New York socialites,
Lucille Ball hand in hand with the Taung child.
We sat around in the couches in the women’s room
(I know you’ve always been suspicious of those couches)
and chatted with each other in the secret female language
that you always knew existed.
Somebody set up a console–
the Empress Wu is ruthless at Mario Kart
and Cleopatra never learned to lose
and a woman who ruled an empire that fell
when the Sea People came
and left no trace
can use the blue shell like a surgical instrument.
Eventually we took the vote.
You had three defenders:
your grandmother and your first-grade teacher
and an Albanian nun who believes the best of everybody.
Your mom abstained.
It was duly recorded in the secret notebooks
that have been kept under the couch in the Applebee’s
since the beginning of recorded time.
And then we went back to playing Mario Kart
and Hoelun took off her bra
and we didn’t think about you again
except that I had to carry this message.
So anyway
good luck with that
it’s just as you always said it was.
Hush now,
no talking
hush.
benepla-deactivated20180521 asked:
please let me out
wonderful-disney-recpies answered:
sorry i have a boyfriend
i’m trapped in your attic
listen im not intrested
black mirror (2015)
Why did “be critical of your media” turn into “find all its flaws and hate it” why did people become allergic to FUN
Because people confuse “critical as in critical thinking” with “critical as in criticizing something,” so they think that “look for something bad, no matter how far-fetched” is what “being critical” means.
Before you get mad at your partner for not doing what you expect them to do, Stop and ask yourself “have I ever communicated to them that I have this expectation?” If you have not, it’s unfair to expect them to read your mind.
So many arguments are saved by just opening your mouth and saying “hey hun, in the future can you….” Whether its articulating how you like to be loved, supported, or communicated with, you have to open your mouth. Your soul mate (IMO) isn’t the person that just always knows what you need when you need it without you telling them. Your soul mate is the person who hears your needs and thinks “I have no problem doing that because I love this person with my whole heart”
So check your attitude and open your mouth. Closed mouths don’t get fed.
trump’s 1 year anniversary of being president is starting off with the government shutting down that’s the perfect representation of how american politics has been going for the past year
The government got shut down when Obama was president as well.
It’s not new.
Stop blowing it out of proportion.
It’s not a rare occurrence.
When the government shutdown under the Obama administration it was a divided government. Which made more sense because under a divided government it’s harder to compromise.
Here we are, 2018, and the Republicans control ALL branches of the government. They still failed to compromise and negotiate.
This is the first time the government shutdown under a one-party government. Ever.
This is most definitely a rare occurrence. Very rare.
Here we are, once again. Not even a full 12 months later, and yet another Republican shutdown.
This is actually the third government shut-down this year. The third. There was the first in January, an additional one in February, and now we’re rounding out the year with a third shut-down. There was only one during the entire eight years Obama was President. There have only been nine total shut-downs in the entire history of America. Trump is responsible for a third of all government shut-downs and this has all happened in one year and it is only his second year in office. Is that alarming? That should be really fucking alarming.
Some of you have never picked up the hit podcast, Welcome To Nightvale written by Joseph Fink and Jeffery Cranor and listened to a whole bunch of episodes in a passion, caught up to the most recent episode, ended up getting tired for waiting for a new episode, stopped listening for around a year and still feel guilty about it and it shows.